If You Told Me To
by NoraF1276
Summary: Eleanor is traveling on the unsinkable Titanic with her father to his clothing store in America. She takes care of him and doesn't have the heart to leave. James Moody is traveling on the Titanic as an officer, and hopes to start his journey as a ships officer. Neither are looking for love, but the heart wants what it wants, and it isn't called the Ship of Dreams for nothing.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

Hello dearies. This is my first story ever, so bear with me please. Take it easy on me, for I am new to this whole fanfiction thing. I will try to correct all grammatical and spelling errors.

Like I said, I am new to this.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44

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Description:

Eleanor is traveling on the unsinkable Titanic with her father to his clothing store in America. She takes care of him and doesn't have the heart to leave. James Moody is traveling on the Titanic as an officer, and hopes to start his journey as a ships officer. Neither are looking for love, but the heart wants what it wants, and it isn't called the Ship of Dreams for nothing.

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Chapter 1

Southampton

Eleanor's Point of View

The motorcade I was in reached a halt and I knew I was here. Southampton docks is exactly the way I remember it. My door was opened and Mr. Young, our valet, stuck his hand out offering to help me down. I took his hand in mine and hopped down from the motorcade. Thanking him as my slippers hit the cobblestone.

I was taken back by the sheer size of the ship. The ship was huge! I counted four smoke stacks that stuck in the high in the air like it owned the sky.

"Daddy?" I questioned my father, Gerald Wallenburg, who now stood next to me.

My daddy was born in Ireland and moved to America when he was 13. His father started one of the most pristigious clothing stores in honor of his wife, my grandmother, Sophia Wallenburg. My father grew up and eventually took over the family business. My father met my mother when she stumbled into his clothing store looking for a gift for her mother, and the rest is history. In 1891, I was born. My mother died during childbirth with my little brother, Ethan, when I was 3, so I don't remember her much.

Now, its just Daddy and I, and we are on our way home from a trip to Ireland to see my grandmother and grandfather.

"My dear, why don't you wait right here while I get our luggage squared away with Mr. Young and one of the stewards aboard the ship?" I smiled slightly. He probably didn't even hear me. Daddy is partially deaf in his left ear, and can barely hear as it is.

I stood there for what seemed like hours. The ship leaves at 12 o' clock today, April 10 1912. I stood there and watched as Daddy bustled around trying to get everything squared away.

Finally, Daddy smiled at me and offered his arm to me. I laughed a little giggling and walked with him to the first class gangplank. I stared in awe as I watched the huge ship loom over me and cast a shadow on me.

"Hello, welcome to Titanic. May I see your tickets, please?" An older man in a White Star Line uniform asked Daddy and I. Daddy motioned for me to take the tickets out of my clutch. I took out the slips of paper and handed them to the man. He punched them with a whole puncher, and moved to let us through.

Daddy led me down a hallway in search of our room. I passed a few people I knew, but not many. Being new money was sometimes hard. When you are born into a first class family, you are "higher" then any other first class family.

I never really understood that. Just because your family has had money longer then yours does not mean you are better.

But I suppose I got used to the faces that gave strange looks and the eyes that judge when you approach.

"Excuse me? Sir, do you know where room A32 is?" I heard my father ask another man dressed in a uniform. He was as old, if older then the last one.

"Yes sir, down that hall, turn left and it should be right side of the hallway." The officer said. I smiled politely to him, and he returned it.

'You see sir, not every first class person is stuck up...' I thought to myself.

I guess you could say I'm not really interested in society. I wouldn't care if I was rich or poor, as long as I'm happy and free to do as I please.

Daddy turned down the hallway the officer said to, and I found our room.

Daddy jiggled the door handle, and the door opened. Mahogany greeted us, with gold trim. A beautiful fireplace sat along a wall, with a sofa and a writing desk. The room was magnificent.

I let go of Daddy's arm, and walked to a door that must have been my room for the voyage. I was taken aback by the huge bed fit for a queen. Daddy opened his door and closed it quietly.

'He must want to be alone.' I thought sadly.

Daddy hasn't seen his psychiatrist recently, and it is our first stop in America. He needs to see Doctor Albert, and the sooner the better.

After Mommy died, Daddy went into a deep depression. If society knew, we would be on the front page. Daddy has been dealing with it fairly well, but sometimes he just slips back into it.

That's why I never got married. I needed to stay home and take care of Daddy. Countless suitors asked for my hand, even after they asked Daddy. But I never had the heart to say yes... I had a soft spot for Daddy, and he needed me with him. I'm all he has, and I feel like if I leave I might break him even more then he is now...

"Daddy? I'm going out to watch the ship leave the docks. Do you want to come with me? It's a little chilly so you-" I was asking through the door when his voice interrupted me.

"No, go ahead sweetheart. Go make some friends too." His voice sounded sad through the mahogany..

"Are you su-"

"I said no Eleanor." I jumped back from the door. The irritation in his voice was obvious. I sighed.

"Well Daddy, I'll be back for dinner. I will go explore a bit too." I said silently. I didn't get an answer so, I just left. I sometimes feel helpless in those types of situations.

I know he doesn't mean to be angry with me, but sometimes its hard to say.

Some of the things he has said to me have stayed with me my whole life.

 _"Your mother is angry with the way you're acting, Eleanor."_

 _"Don't pinch Ethan, Eleanor. He doesn't appreciate it."_

If I would say something, he would go into a state of anger and hurt. Ethan died when he was born. Mother has been gone for 21 years. I worry about my fathers sanity more then I worry about mine.

That's why we went to Ireland to see his family. I thought it would bring him back a little. But it didn't.

Daddy locked himself in his room and came out for dinner only.

I walked out onto the deck and seen the magnificent dock. The people on the dock looked like little ants standing there waving goodbye to their loved ones. I waved to know one in particular, I just waved to all the people.

I waved goodbye to England and my fathers past life here. I waved goodbye to my heritage. I waved goodbye to beautiful country.

I stood there for a little while after the ship had departed, and watched as the sea met the ship.

'It looks like glass' I thought. I leaned a little farther over the edge and looked at the water.

That's when I felt my foot slip.

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Hmmmm. What do you guys think?

First fanfic, so take it easy on me.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note

Hello beautiful people! Okay, so I really didn't even expect anyone to actually read this story to be honest. But you did and I thank you for that! You guys rock! Also, I'm sorry I didn't really update at all today. I was playing in a softball tournament and it was an all day affair. It's funny because I actually have the lay out of this chapter finished, I just need to type it.

So that's all I really have for this whole authors note. So on with the story.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44

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Chapter 2

Water

Eleanor's Point Of View

In my mind I had accepted the fact that I was going to die. I understood that I guess. I had never learned how to swim, and that drop was huge. I was waiting for my body to hit the water, but it didn't. The cold water wasn't surrounding my body and encasing it with an icy chill.

The water wasn't flowing into my lungs like it should have been.

' _Now is a time I needed to know how to swim, Daddy.'_ I thought to myself.

Daddy never taught me how to swim. He was scared for my safety in everything after Mommy died.

" _Don't go by the lake Eleanor."_

" _Don't put your feet in the water Eleanor, it's not safe."_

You have no idea how sick of him I got as a child. I'd never even ridden a horse until I was 17! He was so over protective when I was a child, and now, not so much. His mental health sometimes, I think, forgot about his daughter and only worried about himself. But I can understand that, I've talked to Doctor Albert before, and I know that Daddy doesn't mean to hurt me, he's so caught up in the hurt he feels himself.

Hands were steadying my wobbling body onto the deck. My eyes were closed tightly, scared of the water below.

"Miss, you can open your eyes now." Laughter was in the voice of my savior. I opened my eyes and seen the eyes of another officer.

"Oh, sir thank you! I'm sure I would've went over if it wasn't for you!" I said politely.

The officer had dark brown eyes and hair. I'd say he wasn't a day over 25. Must be one of the younger officers.

"6th Officer James Moody at your service madam!" He said letting go of my waist.

I laughed, " Well Officer Moody, I thank you so much for your service!"

"No need to thank me Miss."

"Oh, I'm sorry Mister Moody. My name is Eleanor. Eleanor Wallenburg." I said offering my hand. Mister Moody brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed my knuckles.

Mister Moody, I'm not going to lie, was a very attractive young man. I wouldn't even be surprised if he was married. Women must fall at his feet. He was polite and quite charming. Different from every other suitor I've ever met.

' _Eleanor, you're already considering him a suitor?! You've only known the man for 2 minutes.'_ I argued with my conscious.

"Please Misses Wallenburg, call me James." He said politely.

"And James you make me sound old! I'm not yet married, and just Eleanor is fine." I said laughing.

"Well Eleanor, it is sure a pleasure to meet you, but I best be on my way. Maybe we can meet for dinner tonight?" Oh that was very sly Mister Moody, very sly.

"Why I don't see why not? I'll meet you by the grand staircase at say, six o' clock tonight?" I questioned smiling.

"I will meet you there." James said with a tip of his hat. "I will see you then Eleanor." He said, and was off towards the bridge.

I stood there for a moment, and thought about what just happened.

 _'Mister Moody seems to want to get to know me, doesn't he?'_ I thought grinning to myself. _'This will be an interesting voyage for you Eleanor.'_ I thought as I made my way back to my stateroom.

* * *

Author's Note

Hmmm, they've met and know going to dinner? Sounds _interesting_. Lol

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note

Hello darlings. I'm so sorry about not updating yesterday. I got home around 11 from work and was exhausted. I'm trying to update daily, because I've read fan fiction before and WAITING is the worst part of it all. So I'm trying to update as much as possible.

On another note, I am open to any ideas for the story. I want you guys to decide what happens to Eleanor and James, I don't just want it to be all on me and then write something you guys hate. So, please, let me know what you're all thinking. I'm open to suggestions.

Chapter 3 is kinda lengthy so bear with me. And also remember its only April 10! We have a long way to go until the sinking.

With that being said, please enjoy the chapter!

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44

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Chapter 3

I'm Ready

Eleanor's Point of View

I open the door to my stateroom and was greeted by the empty sitting area.

 _'Daddy can't still be in his room, can he?'_ I thought to myself. I was gone for a good hour and a half. He can't still be in there. When we are at the house in New York, Daddy is always doing something. Whether its tending to his garden or outside enjoying a cup of tea. Daddy is _always_ busyinghimself with some sort of task.

That was the first thing that indicated he needed some help. Daddy raised me well, don't get me wrong, but when I was 10, he just shut me out. He locked himself in his room and would come out only to eat and bathe. Our maid at the time, Charlotte, raised me during my teen years. Daddy was always in his room or in his study. He put on a great facade to society though.

I went to finishing school at age 15 and finished when I was about 17. When I arrived home from Philadelphia, Daddy wasn't the one that came and picked me up from the train station. It was Charlotte.

But even Charlotte is gone too, succumbing to a rare heart disease that was left untreated. I miss her dearly to this day, and wish she was still around. She always knew how to handle Daddy, and now that she's gone to, I guess I'm still learning how to control his fits of rage and how he slams a door in my face every time I try to talk about mom with him.

"Daddy? It's Eleanor, are you still in there?" I questioned through the door. I heard no shuffling of feet or no movement in the room at all.

"Daddy?" I questioned again, palms starting to sweat from anticipation.

Daddy has scared me since day one that we visited Doctor Albert. When he diagnosed Daddy, I became scared he would take his own life when I wasn't around. It scared me to death, and that's another reason I never left.

 _He needed me, and I couldn't just leave him like he left me._

I reached for the door handle, and swiftly turned it with one flick of the wrist. I looked around Daddy's bedroom, but it was like no one had even been in it. Daddy was no where to be found. A table sat in the corner of the room, with a bouquet of tulips on it. A card with my name sqrawled across it in sloppy handwriting.

 _Eleanor,_

 _I went up to the deck to do some reading. I will be back within the hour, don't worry about me sweetheart, I'm fine._

 _Father_

Relief over took my body upon reading his note. I reread it, once, twice, even three times more. Just to make sure I read it right.

I know I shouldn't be so worried, but he's all the family I have left. Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married and start a family, but Daddy kinda stops it all. I think about him being sick and I think about him, just _dying_ because he thought no one cared for him. I care for him a lot, even though he wasn't present in half my life, I still love him, and he is still my father.

Sometimes, I sit down and wonder what it would be like if I had said yes to one of those suitors that asked for my hand.

I walked out into the sitting room and plunked myself down on the soft, cushioned couch. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only first class girl to think that this is a little to much.

People work there asses off to put food on the table for their families, and here I sit, on a feathered sofa wondering what dress I will wear to dinner tonight.

It never seems fair how the world works.

 _'Dinner tonight, with that officer. What's his name? James? Daddy will certainly be surprised when I tell him why he is dinning with us'_ I thought to myself, staring into the warm glow of the fireplace. I averted my head slightly and looked up at the clock that sat on the mantle of the fireplace.

' _It's almost 4 o' clock'_ I thought absentmindedly. I should really find Ellen so she can help me dress.

Ellen is our maid that we hired when Charlotte died. She's about 18, and quite sweet actually. I consider her one of my closer friends. She is always there for me when I need to talk to her about something, and always seems to listen to what I have to say.

I got off the couch and walked over to our private deck that was adjacent to the sitting room. I seen her sitting in there with a book in her hand, and biting her nails with the other.

' _Must be an exciting chapter.'_ I thought to myself. I waked in silently and slipped into the wicker chair sitting next to her.

"Ellen?" I question silently, looking over her shoulder to see what she was reading. I got no reply.

I laughed, "Ellen! Hurry! The boat is sinking!" Ellen's head shot up.

"What miss?" I laughed again. "I'm just pulling your leg El. Come, help me get dressed for dinner." She scowled at me.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to do miss." She said, a smirk pulling at the cornors of her mouth. I rolled my eyes.

"Ellen, don't be such a downer. I didn't know how else to get your attention." Ellen's smirk turned into a smile.

"You're such a dunce miss." Ellen said to me.

"Ellen, if you call me miss one more time, I will scream." I said laughing "You know I hate that. I've known you to long to have you call me miss anymore. Eleanor is just fine." I said getting up and following Ellen into my room.

"Fine Eleanor. What dress would you like to wear for the evening?" I smiled.

"Well, Ellen, I'm meeting someone for dinner tonight..." I trailed off, knowing she was going to pounce on the opportunity to pick on me.

"Is it a man?" Ellen questioned, raising an eyebrow. I blushed slightly.

"Yes..."

"Oh Eleanor! A suitor! Oh how wonderful!" She gushed.

"Ellen! I just met him today! I don't even know his middle name yet!" I laughed.

"What's his name? Oh please tell me!" She was jumping up and down like a little child in a candy store.

"James. He's an officer of the ship. He saved me earlier from falling overboard today." I said, remembering the encounter.

"Oh Eleanor, that must have been terrifying." She said as she slipped me out of my day dress. She opened the wardrobe and motioned for me to pick.

"Hmmm, Ellen, I think I will go with the blue one today." I said as she pulled it down from the hanger. Ellen tightened my corset, and slipped me into the sky blue dress.

It was rather beautiful on my figure, and matched my eyes well. Ellen pulled my hair back into a bun, with some of my curls hanging down, framing my face. She wrapped a beautiful gold choker, that was my mothers, around my neck to accent the gold trim of my dress. Gold earrings were clipped onto my ears as well, and Ellen spun around a full length mirror in order for me to see my appearance.

"Wonderful Ellen, I like it."

"Mister James won't know what hit him!" Ellen said smiling. "Are you ready for dinner now Eleanor?"

"I'm ready."

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Author's Note

Hmmm? Whatcha guys think? I kinda liked this chapter because you learn a little more about Eleanor and her past life. The next one will be a little more exciting though. Just wait and see.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note

Okay, so I was extremely board today and decided to write another chapter just for the heck of it. Don't judge me, summer vacation is so boring, and there's literally nothing to do in this small town I live in.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44

* * *

Chapter 4

Dinner

Eleanor's Point of View

Daddy walked into our stateroom just in time for dinner. He seemed more relaxed then earlier, and that could be good, or it could be bad. Daddy wasn't one to tell his emotions, and you kinda just have to guess.

"Daddy, you seem in a better mood than earlier." I commented, trying to get his wandering eyes to look at me.

 _'He must be amazed by the room, too.'_ I thought.

"Yes, I feel much better now sweetheart." He said as he came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Are you already ready for dinner?" He questioned me, looking confused

"Yes, Daddy, it is almost five thirty." I said gently, trying not to send him into one of his fits. He simply nodded his head, and called for Mr. Young to help him with his suit.

I waited on the sofa, and played rock, paper, scissors with Ellen while I waited.

"Why do you always beat me, Eleanor? I don't understand how you always win." Ellen said, with a look of deep concentration on her face, trying to think of what to put. She shoots scissors, but I shot rock.

"Easy Ellen, I can just read your mind." I teased. At that moment my father walked out dressed in his best attire, and ready to accompany me to dinner.

"Oh, Daddy, I forgot to tell you. Someone will be escorting me to dinner tonight, and he will also be dinning with us." I said, as I slipped my arm into his.

"Oh dear, who is this "he"." He said eyeballing me. I blushed under Daddy's intense gaze. I smiled sheepishly.

"He's one of the ships officers. James Moody is his name." I said glancing at the clock.

"He sounds lovely and I can not wait to meet him." Daddy said, as he pulled me out the door.

"I'll save you some Ellen." I whispered in her ear as I walked past her. I glanced over her shoulder and she smiled.

We made our way to the grand staircase. Daddy walked a little slower so we could talk.

"So, what made you invite this kind officer to dinner, young lady?" Daddy questioned under his breath.

"You see Daddy, I was leaning over the railing of the ship to look at the water, and I slipped. Ja- Mister Moody was there to save me from going overboard. If he wasn't there, I would've fallen in." I corrected myself.

 _'Daddy doesn't know him yet.'_ I heard my concious whisper. Finally, we made it to the stair case, and there, in his officer's uniform, was James.

"Hello Mister Moody, this is my father, Gerald Wallenburg." I said, formally introducing the two. They exchanged a greeting, and then Daddy let go of my arm. James swiftly reached down to kiss my hand. I smirked slightly.

"If it wouldn't be a bother sir, I would like to escort Miss Eleanor to the dinning hall." James said formally.

"Well, I don't see why not Mister Moody. Come, I will lead the way." Said my father smiling at me.

James held out his arm, and slipped my gloved hand around his muscular bicep.

 _'Damn, he's strong.'_ I thought to myself as he led me through the crowd to follow my father.

"Hello, Eleanor. I'm glad you actually showed up." James said laughing under his breath.

"Why? Have many women ditched you?" I whispered, and only nodded his head, smiling to the people that passed us.

"Oh, my dear Miss Wallenburg, on many occasions. I'm surprised you didn't hit me when you realized my hands where on you." James said nodding his head to the Astors as they passed us.

I laughed, "Well, Mister Moody, I'm not like most first class women." I said, he turned his head and looked into my eyes, and I could feel a friendship starting to bloom.

I trusted James, even if I had only met him today. He is respectful, and has a very good since of humor. I can't wait to see what this voyage is going to be like with him.

I looked away from James, but I could tell he was still staring at me. I smiled at the Duchess of Roth, and glanced out of the corner of my eye.

"You look beautiful, Eleanor." James said quietly. I smiled, looking straight ahead.

"Thank you, James." I looked at him and he looked away. "James are you blushing?" I questioned giggling a little.

"No! I am not blushing! I do not blush." James said trying to protect himself. I laughed.

James Moody's Point of View

Blimy, I'm falling for the girl. Eleanor looked straight ahead while I kept staring at her. She smiled at a few people, and would look over at me out of the corner of her eye.

Eleanor was down right beautiful. When I was watching her from the deck, while she was looking at the water, I realized how beautiful she really was. Her golden hair curled at the ends and her eyes glistened with life. Her laugh was beautiful, and I couldn't get away from it.

' _James, what are you doing, your going to mess this up. You came on this ship to follow your dream. And now? It's only been the first day. Think about it. You didn't come on this ship to find love, you came on it to show them you have what it takes to be a sailor, and a girl would just get in the way of it.'_ My concious said to me as I led Eleanor to the dinning hall.

' _I don't know if I really care anymore. What if she is my dream?'_ I argued back with my mind.

"You look beautiful, Eleanor." I said under my breath, hoping she wouldn't hear me.

"Thank you, James." Dammit, she did hear me. I looked away, trying to play it off like I didn't say anything. I could feel my face heat up as blood flowed to them.

"James, are you blushing?" Eleanor quizzed. Happily, I jumped in, thankful for the change of subject.

Bloody hell, she must think I'm a creep.

Eleanor's Point of View

We entered the hall, and took our seats. James, thankfully sat next to me. On the other side of James, sat a tiny woman, with red hair and sharp green eyes. I later learned that her name was Ruth. Next to Ruth, sat an almost younger version of her, but with more kind features and gently blue eyes. On the other side of her, sat a man with brown hair, ugly looking fellow, and certainly the younger girls fiance. Next to him sat a heavier woman with brown hair, and a more light tone in her voice, Molly was her name. Then next to her the master shipbuilder, Thomas Andrews, and the head of the White Star Line, Bruce Ismay, and my father.

Greeting were sent around the table, and I smiled politely at everyone. Menus were passed around, and I glanced at James, wondering what his favorite is. I giggled slightly when he ordered the salmon, because that's what I guess he would order. I ordered the same, with a glass of wine.

"So, James. Tell us about life at sea." Molly asked James, and he smiled lightly.

"Well, you see ma'am, this is my first trip out on the sea. I finally finished school and am excited to say that the maiden voyage of the Titanic is my first voyage out on the sea. I had shadowed other officers while I was on other ships, such as the Mauritania, but this is my first trip as an actual officer." James said, honestly smiling as he thought of his past. Molly nodded in approval.

"Good for you sonny, you must feel very excited right now." Molly said as our food came. James told the story of how I almost fell over the railing of the ship, and it got a few disapproving looks from the women, and a few chuckles from the men.

I felt James set something in my lap, and looked down.

A note.

 _'Ellie, meet me out on the deck after dinner._

 _James.'_

I smiled, and closed the slip of paper. I seen my father glance over at me, and through his beard I could see a hint of a smile. James and I ate our food rather quickly, probably because I skipped lunch today, and afternoon tea. James must only eat when he isn't working. I'm sure they get a break.

My dad stood up, and the men followed him, except James, to the smoking room.

' _Don't drink to much brandy, Daddy.'_ I thought to myself.

"Well, it was very nice meeting all of you fine women, but I will be going out on deck to see if I can attend to anything." James said as he stood, and bowed slightly. He winked slightly at me and I blushed. I seen him walk out onto the deck, and then out of sight.

"I suppose I am not feeling very well, I will return to my stateroom. I bid you goodnight." I said standing. Rose, the young red head, smiled at me as I walked out.

 _'I should really get to know her. She seems like she would be a good friend.'_ I walked out to the stair case, and turned to the doors that led to the deck. I walked out into the cold April night, looking for James. I walked towards the officers bridge, and stopped in my tracks. James was talking to another girl. A brown haired, blue eyed, third class passenger. My heart burned.

I turned on my heels and walked swiftly to my stateroom, and collapsed in a heap on the bed, tears streaming from my eyes.

* * *

Authors Note

Oh dear. This just got a tad bit more interesting didn't it...

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


	5. Authors Note

Authors Note,

Hello everyone. Its been a while since I last updated. But here I am. Again.

I've been so busy trying to get my life together. I have a job and I play softball for 2 travel teams, and sometimes, its hard to keep everything together at once.

But this note is not a note to say, "Hey, I won't be continuing this story." its a note to say, "Hey, this story is on hold for a while."

I've been trying my best to get back with it since my little "incident" you could call it. I've been in and out of therapy and the doctors for a few weeks because of my mental health, and I'm trying my best right now.

I'm so so so sorry that this is happening to soon to this story, but it will only be for a month or so, just until I get better and I'm not so busy.

I'm so sorry for the long period of silence, but I just can't handle writing right now... I hope you all understand...

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


	6. Chapter 5

Author's Note:

Hello lovelies. It's been so long since I last wrote to you. I just want to apologize for my leave of absence and my struggles to continue this story.

On a better note, I AM BACK. AND BETTER THAN EVER! Since I last wrote, I have been taken care of and well, I'm doing much better. School started back up again and now I feel a lot better.

I will continue this story from this moment on. BUT, keep in mind that I am a junior in high school. My life is pretty much a jumble of studying and sports.

So please, again bare with me. This could be a rocky start. But we will see.

So, without further ado, please welcome, to the wonderful Titanic.

Chapter 5

Loss for Words

Ellen's Point of View

I knocked softly on the door of Eleanor's room. I was worried that I would wake her, but the worry disintegrated when I heard soft sobs escape the room.

"Eleanor, are you alright?" I asked through the door, hoping to get some sort of reply.

"Please, come in Ellen…" Her voice was soft, like she had been crying for some time.

Blimey, why hadn't I come up from my stateroom sooner?

I pushed open the white door and entered her room. Her blonde curls were spread out upon the white, feathered pillow. Her dress, disheveled, lay soaked in her tears and had a tear in it from where, it looked like, she had ripped it off.

"Oh Eleanor…" I sighed picking up the dress and laying it upon the chair. "What are you crying about?" I asked, hoping for her not to get angry at me.

"He was talking to another woman, Ellen." I tried to surpress a chuckle. Wasn't he a ships officer? Wasn't it Mister Moody's job to talk to people? I tried my best to stifle my laugh but it didn't go in my favor.

"Ellen why are you laughing? This isn't funny." Now that made me laugh.

"Eleanor, he is a ship's officer. It's his job to talk to people. He needs to run the ship, you know." I said through intervals of laughter. Eleanor's eyes lit up.

"You're right! Ellen, he has a job to do!"

Eleanor's Point of View

How could one person be so stupid. He's not even mine, nor will he ever be. He is a ships officer, and I should respect that. He has a job. I'm not a part of his life. He did his job this afternoon. Why in the world would he have feelings for me.

How could I, Eleanor Rose Wallenberg be so stupid as to think that James Moody would ever look at me.

But why did it seem that he liked me in a more friendly way?

"Ellen, I would my day dress from earlier back on please." She gave me an odd look, but obliged to my demand.

Soon, I was dressed, but on my housecoat, and rambled out onto the deck.

'Damn, it's cold.' I thought to myself as I walked down the deck. The cold was enough to leave my nose beat red.

'Where is James?' I thought to myself. I need to set him straight. We are no longer acquaintances, we are now strangers, whose paths have crossed once, and shall never cross again. I need to be taking care of Daddy. He's sick, and I can't leave him.

'Keep your head on Eleanor. Don't lose sight of what your purpose is.'

Finally I reached my destination. The front of the ship. I think it was called a bow, but I'm not quite sure. I've only been on a ship once, and that was on our way to Ireland.

"Eleanor?" I heard a voice from behind me say. I spun on my heals and greeted him with a slight curtsy.

"Hello, Mister Moody. It is a pleasure to see you again. I was just searching for you and it took me years to find you." I giggled as he kissed my hand.

'Stick to the plan, Eleanor.'

"It's a pleasure to see you again. Come, I would like you to meet my friends." He offered his arm, and I obliged. We walked for a little while until we came to a hooded building. Inside, there was a ships wheel, and things that looked almost like clocks. A man stood at the wheel, gradually commanding the ship.

"Hello Mister Murdoch. This is my friend, Eleanor. We are on a walk and I wanted her to meet you men." Mister Murdoch bowed slightly to me. I remember him when he took our tickets when we boarded.

"Mister Murdoch." I extended my hand and he took it firmly.

'THIS WASN'T THE PLAN, ELEANOR ROSE.' My mind was screaming. But I just couldn't help my self.

We met another man, who was named Lowe. He had a thick Welsh accent, and talked very kindly. Although I could sense a strong bond between the men. They laughed and joked and even picked on one another. I could tell they were very good friends.

Soon, the time came for me to come back to my room, when James checked his pocket watch, that said 11:30.

"My God, my father will be so worried." James completely understood, and we quickly ran back to my room.

"Well, it was a lovely evening, Eleanor." He smiled at me, and I blushed under his intense gaze. He smiled, and brought my hand to his lips.

"Maybe we can meet again? Perhaps tomorrow? We could meet at the staircase again, and I could join you for lunch?" He was rattling off questions like my father when he had one of his episodes.

"James I would adore that." I mentally kicked myself.

'Eleanor you weren't supposed to meet him again.' My mind was going crazy.

"Perfect! I'll see you at the grand staircase right before the lunch horn is blown." He said smiling, it was obvious he was excited.

"Of course, I will be there." I said smiling back.. James, for some reason, made me extremely happy.

"Alright, I best be off. I will see you tomorrow, Ellie." He kissed my hand for the last time, and walked down the corridor, leaving me alone to be with my thoughts.

Authors Note:

Well, that was terrible. But let me get back in the groove. I hope to update tonight, but if I don't, I will for sure update sometime tomorrow.

HannahBanana44


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Confrontations

James's Point of View

I awoke the next day with a smile, even if I was exhausted. I had a shift already during the night and I am off until 4 o' clock tonight.

'Eleanor…' I thought to myself. I almost jumped out of bed. I get to see Eleanor for lunch today. For some reason, I was excited to see her.

Eleanor was beyond beautiful. Her eyes sparkled when she laughed, her cheeks produced small dimples every time she smiled. I don't know why, but I could sense she felt the same way about me.

Maybe I'm just stupid. Maybe I am just a dumb sailor who is probably just falling in love with some first class girl I would never have a chance with.

Falling in love? Oh come on James really.. pull you're head out of your arse and get to work.

"James rise and shine!" A almost-to-cheery voice drifted into my room. I was stark naked.

"Bloody hell! Harold get out of my room for Gods sakes man!" I shoved him out of my room while he apologized the whole way.

I pulled on my undergarments along with my trousers.

"Alright Harold, you may enter now." I said laughing the whole time.

"I'm so sorry James, I'm terribly sorry." He apologized at least 23 times. He was beet red in the face.

"I didn't- I thought you- I just..-" he stumbled over his words trying figure out the right one to say.

"Harold. Let it go." I said putting my hand on the shoulder of the man I now called my best friend. Growing up, I never really had close friends. I was always doing something, and in school I just didn't really care for anyone.

Harold just understood me. Even when I didn't understand myself.

"How is Eleanor?" Harold questioned me, laying on the bed and stretching his long legs out.

"Harold.." I trailed off. I was tired of him asking me this.

"I'm not going for the girl. She's first class. I am not. I'm just a dirty sailor who is always gone." I said my eyes casting down to the floor. Harold laughed so hard he damn near spit on me.

"What's so funny Harold? It's true!"

"Nothing. You just seem to be in love with her." IN BLOODY LOVE WITH HER?!

"Blimey! Harry I'm not in love with her! I met her yesterday!" Harolds eyes grew wide.

"Bloody hell! The way you look at her it was as if you've known her all your life." Harold pulled his cap down over his eyes, almost as if to nap.

"Harold I'm not in love with her." I half said half whispered.

"Yes Jimmy, you're not. Not yet anyway."

A/N

I apologized for the absent leave. MY LIFE IS A MESS! Lol but I'll get back on track. I also apologize for the short chapter.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


	8. Chapter 7

A/N

Jeez my life is messy. And I honestly say that a lot but I'll say it again. School is super long, and it's incredibly hard to write my chapters in class, seeing that I only have 3 classes. To top that off, I bowl on the school team, and I work until 8. Plus, friends, family, boyfriend, team bonding, health, yea I'm really busy with my damn life. Lol. But I'm pretty good at managing since my incident.

Alright enough of my nasty life;) if there is ANYTHING you guys would like to see happen to this story, I would really love to know! Like honestly, is anyone even still reading this story? Should I even go on? I would like to, but if you don't want me to that's okay! I want to write something you enjoy.

Leave something in the comments or private message me your ideas! I don't bite, and I typically respond within the hour. I'd love to correspond with viewers!

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44

Chapter 7

Breakfast

Eleanor's Point of View

I awoke around 7. My head was still groggy, but I could make out a figure in the corner with something in his hand. He was sitting at the table with the single calla lily.

"Hello darling." It was my father.

"Good morning daddy. What are you doing in here? You usually don't wake up this early." I questioned, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes. He was reading something, it looked close to a newspaper, and it appeared he was eating what looked like Johnny cakes.

"Daddy!" I gasped. "Are those Johnny cakes?" I asked excitedly. He nodded, and I jumped out of bed.

'He's in a good mood, El. Try not to spoil it.' My mind damn near screamed at me. I was now terrified. What do I do if I set him off?

Daddy doesn't like to talk about why he does what he does. He doesn't like to talk about his faults with me, and honestly, it sends him into a downward spiral. And that, at the moment, is something I can not physically handle.

"Those are Johnny cakes honey. I had a steward go fetch them. Don't they look delightful?" He chirped. Daddy dosed his flapjack in maple syrup.

"They do! I haven't had these for breakfast in a long long time." I said grabbing a fork and taking two of the sticky goodness.

"Well, Eleanor I think it's time for a change." He puts his fork down and whipped his napkin over his lips.

"It is time for a change Eleanor." His eyes were coasted down on me, and I chewed more slowly. I was confused by his words. What does he mean that there needs to be a change? A change in what exactly?

"What is it you are talking about Daddy?" He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Eleanor…" his voice trailed off, and I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"I've let you grow up on your own, and I regret leaving you. I was never your father, I was the figure in the background of your life, and I regret it. I never gave you a porcelain doll, and I've never climbed trees with you or went to the fair! I let you down. Just because I was a living hell doesn't mean that I should put you in the dark." He continued, "if there was a way you could forgive me for my faults, I would be forever thankful.." his eyes looked hopeful.

"Daddy, you haven't left me in the dark.." I said lying through my teeth… he's right.. he did leave me in the dark for years on end.

"Eleanor Ræ Wallenberg, do not lie to me." He said, and angry tone bit at my face, like that of a dog.

"I'm sorry, daddy." I said quietly "you hurt me for years." My voice gave away my tears.

"I'm so sorry Ellie.." daddy reached across the table and grasped my hand.

His hands were cold and I shivered under his touch.

Daddy, you hurt me for a long long time. You left me in the dark for days on end. I only had Charlotte, and when she died, my life became a mess." I stood up.

"Why couldn't you be there for me?!" Anger started to boil its way up my legs into my stomach; into my heart.

"I buried Momma and Ethan alone Daddy!" I screamed. My scream hit him hard, as if I had slapped him..

I was hurt, stung by the mans words. I've waited for this my whole life. Daddy waking up and welcoming me into his world, instead of kicking me out of it.

"Eleanor.." his voice trailed again but this time, I wasn't having it.

"You hurt me for years and you never came to save me! You're my father… you never acted like it." The words just rolled off my tongue as if I was making a speech and I knew the words so well that I didn't need my paper. I've held this in my whole life, and I never even knew it.

I stood from my seat, pulling my nightgown closer to my body. I was slightly cold, like a chill had just rained down from the sky and settled into the air. I seen the window to my room was slightly open, and I glided over to it, pushing it open a little more to see the world.

A small boat was carrying people to the ship.

"My they must be freezing," I said aloud to no one in particular. I slowly closed the window and looked back to daddy, and I seen silent, wet, tears slid down his face.

"Daddy please go. I'd like to get dressed."

He left quickly, leaving his flapjacks and strawberries on his plate.

I close my eyes and sigh.

'Oh James, I need you to stay away from me.'

A/N

Alright, remember this is a work of fiction. My characters are completely made up in my cluttered brain. Also, some of my events won't be correct. I'm not a history professor lol. I don't study this. I know for sure that a ferry went out on April 11, 1912 but not quite sure the time.

Lots of Love,

HannahBanana44


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